I’m sure you’ve heard about the unpleasant shopping experience Oprah shared in a film promotion interview this past week. A brief story that Oprah shared in an unexpected moment has turned into a media frenzy but, in case you missed it…

Oprah meandered into a boutique recently while staying in Switzerland. She was shopping alone — with no entourage — and, in her words, ‘I didn’t have anything that said, I have money…’. She asked the store clerk to show her a handbag behind the counter and was repeatedly directed to different options, stating that the bag she requested was, ‘too expensive’. Apparently, this store clerk didn’t realize her customer was one of the wealthiest and most powerful women. To Oprah’s disappointment she never did get to hold that Tom Ford bag that day. She left the store never to return — no bag in hand and a personal story that would not remain a secret. This story has escalated in the media outing the luxury boutique (which Oprah never named), apologies from the Swiss tourism department, the boutique owner and clerk clarifying their side of the story and Oprah apologizing for the attention this has generated.

So, what can we learn from this scenario?

Bad experiences are stronger and have a greater charge than good ones.

In fact, according to Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University, ‘Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events — and use stronger words to describe them — than happy ones.’

Think about your own personal customer experiences and relate them to how you think about them, who you share them with and how often you tell someone. Then, think about the stories you hear from others about their own experiences as well.

I cannot help but relate this story to the opportunity we have every day with patients. Consider, in dentistry, how we impact the hearts and minds of our patients through their experiences — good and maybe, not so good (dare I say, bad). How could we ever know the true depth of how their experience can run in their social circles? And, how their experience may impact whether we lose or gain a patient? We don’t. Therefore, why would we ever risk creating a negative experience on our watch? This reminds me of a quote I love and happens to be painted on a wall in the office of one of my clients.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.    ~Aristotle

It goes without saying that our commitment must always be in the best interest of providing the most extraordinary experiences for our patients. And, I do believe as health care providers, we do intend to do this. However, sometimes subtle things can get in the way.

Namely, in the interview, Oprah continued to share, ‘I’m in a store and the person doesn’t obviously know that I carry the Black Card and so they make an assessment based upon the way I look…’.

I’m sure you’ve had that experience as well. I know I have. And, it does speak to what can get in the way…prejudging. A classic case of prejudgment was put to the test for all of us with none other than Susan Boyle. Who ever expected that incredibly beautiful and powerful voice to come from the face of Susan Boyle? Certainly not the smug Simon Cowell. Did you see his face when it hit him? I still grin when I think of that moment. In fact, if you want to relive it, here you go … Susan Boyle Clip … I had to watch it again myself — I still get goosebumps!

We may not believe prejudging happens in the dental office, but it does and in subtle ways. For instance, patients may not be presented with an ideal treatment plan if someone on the team decides a patient cannot afford it based on how s/he presents himself in the practice. Perhaps a patient never made the conscious decision to make their oral health a priority — until the day s/he shows up in your chair. Or, the hygienist never mentions the new in-offfice whitening procedure to a patient due to the patient’s age. Maybe the patient has a few older (and darker-looking) crowns — and, ‘that may cost a lot to replace’ therefore, ‘I won’t even go there’ may be the conversation in the mind of your team (or you). It happens more often than we like to think. And, it stems from our own personal set of beliefs around cost and value which, in turn, results in mapping our ideas about what’s important to us onto others.

Prejudging others only has them show up as someone else decides and often robs them of their opportunity to show up as who they really are. Taking the time to ask our patients about their specific goals and listen for what’s most important is what allows us the privilege to give them what they want. And, that is always a positive experience.

Susan Boyle made her dream come true. And, I’m certain Oprah will have no trouble finding someone who will gladly sell her that bag.

Here’s to going after what we want!